Nairobi to Mombasa

It’s just past 10am on Monday morning and I’m stuck in one of Nairobi’s ‘known for it’s awful’ traffic jams on the Mombasa road.  Outside men and women are busy selling biscuits, newspapers, socks, t-shirts, coke, hairbrushes, you name it to motorists, feverishly moving from one to the next like flies around turtles. 

These poor hawkers, in ill-fitting, dirty old coats say a lot about Kenya’s capital city – it’s dirty, poor and desperately ill-suited to provide for the needs of it’s 3 million people, of which 1.2 million live in the biggest slum in the Africa – Kiberia.

Fortunately for me, I creep away from Nairobbery on my Coast Air Coach on a ten hour trip back to Kilifi.

The countryside that slides past my window offers the paradoxical picture of a dreadfully harsh but beautifully simple environment like the red barren surface of Mars, painted with houses, trees and people by the innocent hands of an 8 year old child.

Hurtling over a mix of newly tarmacked roads and old rut-riddled stretches, I spend some of the journey reading the daily Kenyan newspaper – The Daily Nation. A paper with more spelling and grammatical errors than any brochure/Newsletter I have ever been responsible for (maybe not). 

Since I arrived here, the news in these paper’s has never been good. Now it’s particularly bad.  Take your pick from desperate droughts, millions starving, energy rationing, water shortages and environmental catastrophes…plus a generous daily dose of corruption and political nonsense. It paints a depressing reality facing the country.

But as bad as all this is, my daily scan of the grim truths of Kenya is sparred, thankfully, by those three words. Those heinous, apocalypse-inducing stinky words that grace Saturday’s Irish Times every week that my dear granny sends one to me.

The McCarthy Report.

(Lightning Bolt, Thunder, Banshee cries and ghoulish laughter sound effects please.)

God I shudder if that evil, axe wielding enemy of pleasure comes to these shores. 

“ENOUGH!” we’d cry. “Please God, we’ve had enough.” And Kenya, on mass, would run and jump into the ocean sparring itself from An Bord Snip. 

(‘Snip’? Don’t let McCarthy ever perform your circumcision.)

All joking aside, I know that when I come home in September for a 2 week sojourn from the depression free-zone of Kenya I’ll hear a lot of doom and gloom. And of course, it would be fruitless to compare doom and gloom country to country – I know Ireland is facing some tough, tough times.

BUT!

Yes public sector jobs will be cut including Teachers and Nurses, yes Irish people will have to pay higher taxes, Yes we might have to cut Development Aid and Yes, it’s all very difficult to accept….but No, we will not pull 411 troops out of Chad to save €12m.

That’s a step too far.

What’s happening in Chad (Sudan, the Congo) to people is utterly unacceptable. Not to Irish taxpayers yes but to people, other people but people like you and me all the same.  Providing protection or trying to provide protection for this is what? Imperative, an absolute fundamental responsibility, essential, rudimentary, critical…what word, take your pick?

That’s why we should be proud of the Irish soldiers risking their lives for peace in Chad and we should refuse to let it go under the red pen.

Ireland still believes that those crimes are unacceptable, in the good times AND the bad times?

Ok hope that’s not too heavy or political, it wont be a regular thing. It could be worse, I could of waxed lyrical about anyone of Arsenal’s six goals against Everton on Saturday.  There’ll be plenty of time for that.

Hope all is well at home and where ever else.

p.s. For everyone affected by  last Friday nights yobish behavior in Tramore – I apologise for his behaviour.  We’ll keep a tighter leech on him in future.

Gourmet Goat

“Let’s do a goat tonight” Anthony, one of my Kenyan friends said to me Saturday afternoon. It's been a while but has it come to this I thought.  

“Do a goat?” 

“Yeah, we’ll get some beers and eat it the Masai way”

“Oh eat it. The Masai way. Yeah definitely. Lets do that”  The Masai way, I say it like I know exactly what he’s talking about – Of course, the Masai way -  Beef Casserole cooked the Masai Way from the Tesco Finest collection.  

No flies on me.

So Saturday night 8 o’clock, I’m off to eat a goat somewhere about 15 minutes away from Mnarani, off the main road and close to the beach.

Beside a small completely unspectacular cottage, not to far from the middle of no where, we gather around a small table waiting for our Masai friends (Ndishu and Logisa – I met them at a couple of parties before, good guys) to finish preparing the animal for consumption.

I can hear the ocean dancing on the beach somewhere past the thickish bush, but cant make out much else in the darkness. After a short wait Logisa, complete with his Masai ‘get-up’ drops a plate of soft, squishy goat, layered in a strange slippery sauce in the shadows in front of us.

My fellow diners dig in followed cautiously by me.

Feigning complete comfort I eat what tastes like so-so lamb with a strong meat sauce.   The Masai Way – probably wont make the Finest collection after all but’s its not bad. 

Sam, a research scientist with a huge personality, chuckles and says to me “As much as I love the taste goat cooked in blood, I know I’ll be sitting on the toilet from about 6am tomorrow”

Whoa, whoa.  Back up the truck Conor. 

“Blood?” I ask. He surely means Bisto folks, it’s ok. Ahhh Bisto!

“Yeah, it’s the way the Masai eat goat.  The take out it’s stomach and organs, burst the Gall Bladder over it and cook it. The Masai Way - with blood” he smiles. 

That’s twice he said blood instead of Bisto.

Chege, a dentist adds to this “Don’t worry, the blood isn't bad for you, it’s just your stomach might react badly to it and we’ll be shitting ourselves all morning”.  He laughs and takes some goat.

The part of my brain that is responsible for thinking about the future has just burst into flames.  My stomach is cantankerous at the best of times, it’s going to be in an awful strop being forced to accept this.

“Ha..h-h-ha, ha.  So this is what Gall Bladder sauce tastes like” looking at the small piece of squishy meat squeezed between my thumb and fingers – “It’s nice. Goat blood, it’s nice. Ha h-ha h-ha”

Like fuck it is – it’s bloody horrible, if you can possibly excuse that appalling pun, but it is. Scrap what I said earlier. 

Not wanting to offend I eat some more, but swallow each piece down with a half a bottle of beer. I washed quite a bit down with beer and vodka…when you’re eating goat meat in blood sauce, you don’t have to worry too much about a hangover.   

You may as well be killed for a sheep then for a lamb..or goat. 

True to form my bowls threw the rattle out of the cot completely on Sunday morning.  It did so on several occasions.

I’m done with goats.  And blood.  Vodka and Beer are still ok though!

Voluntary Testing and Counseling - Pictures

How will I manage to do this now?

This is my fourth attempt at trying to write a blog but everytime I try to complete it I stray like a moth to light to a topic that I shouldn't tell you about, however hard I try to avoid. I keep telling myself there are  more important things….

Anyway, here goes.

In this blog I’m not going to tell you about me scoring a 30 yard free-kick on Saturday afternoon against Kiwandani United.  With so many more important goings on going on here, me describing in minute detail the top corner screamer from an impossible distance seems a bit self-aggrandizing.

I think it’s a subject best avoided…so not a peep (30 – thirty -  yards though!).

VCT Outreach - Photos

So as promised previously, here are a few more of the excellent pictures from Mike Byrne taken at one of SCOPEs VCT (Voluntary Counselling and Testing) Outreaches.

APHIA II is the USAID project that work on HIV/AIDS prevention and care in Kenya. SCOPE are one of the implementing partners and work with the Ministry of Health and other stakeholders to mobilise the community to these local outreaches. 

In addition to various other health services (malaria, malnutrition, TB etc.), the community are encouraged to get a free HIV/AIDS test, prevention information and support. This is SCOPEs role in the outreach and the APHIA II project.

Below are some fantastic images giving you an insight into the work being done.  SCOPE staff are pictured in several of these shots and in the last shot, you’ll see George who is one of the key SCOPE employees who runs the programme in this district.

When the APHIA II funding ends (December 2009) it is hoped that SCOPE will be well on there way to achieving a level of resource sustainability (i.e. will be able to use their own income) to fund these programme.

That’s where Thunder Boot Halley’s project comes in!